PALDAY, MESPINE 22nd

 

On a public bench, Roy sat outside Vermilion City Gym, waiting for it to open. Journal on his lap, he sketched Chloe from memory, recalling her smooth features, warm smile, glistening eyes, and the maroon color of her long braid draped over her shoulder. He got so absorbed in the drawing, he lost any sense of the passage of time. When Roy next checked his phone, he blinked as if coming out of a dream before realizing the Gym had been open for an hour. Had he fallen so deep in his thoughts?

    Much as Roy tried to pretend otherwise, he missed her. He recalled with a mournful smile how he’d won a girl over with his intellect. Not that he had alternative options. Roy knew his looks would never earn any dates. Being a boy with such a scrawny and weak figure had made him the butt of a lot of jokes in high school. He’d have been a straight-A student had he not consistently failed PE.

    Roy flipped to the journal’s front page, admiring the badges pinned there. Two of his own, and the four his father won before him–one of which was from Vermilion. A different badge from a different time, outdated and no longer credible. That was fine; Roy needed to earn his own way.

    He rose from the bench and stretched, looking up at the Gym. It sure was massive. Cerulean City’s had been as well, but that had included an aquarium. What was inside this place that necessitated it to be the size of a… Come to think of it, the place almost exactly resembled an aircraft hangar. With the same long dome structure and flat-faced front. It might’ve housed several jumbo jets.

    Roy approached the entrance just as another Trainer was coming out, holding his arm and rubbing at a sore shoulder, groaning like he’d been mugged. Roy stared as they passed. What happened to him? Typically, Pokémon did the fighting in Pokémon battles, but that guy looked like he’d taken the beating himself.

    The lobby was small by comparison, but jam-packed with war photos featuring a younger Surge, leaving so little space between, Roy could hardly tell the color of the walls. Tacked up newspaper clippings bore headlines from the days of the Kantonian Civil War. Medals and ribbons hung here and there, and various firearms lined the wall behind the front counter, where the gruff, broken-nosed receptionist sat reading what looked like a war biography.

    Many Gym Leaders had reputations extending beyond their status as a Gym Leader. Even today, Surge’s notoriety as a well-respected lieutenant probably exceeded his reputation as a professional Pokémon Trainer.

    “Welcome,” said the receptionist with a tone that bordered on dastardly. As though he’d plotted some sort of trap Roy had walked into.

    “I’m here to challenge the Gym.”

    The receptionist stared into Roy’s eyes, as if measuring up his soul. “You look distracted.”

    Was it that obvious? “It’s nothing. Just had a… good… bad… night yesterday?” He was still deciding which it was.

    “Well, whatever it is, you’ll soon forget all about it. There’s no room for distractions here.”

    Images of Chloe filled Roy’s head. Along with memories of how he’d fucked it all up. “I’m not sure anything can get this off my mind. Not even a Gym battle.”

    The receptionist smiled wider. “We’ll see. As per the Gym rules, you will have to pass a test before earning the right to battle Lt. Surge.”

    This wasn’t unheard of. Some Gym Leaders did this. Answer a few quick trivia questions about why you wanted to be a Trainer or win some sort of game that tested your abilities–Roy heard Blaine sometimes liked to ask his challengers riddles. Simple tasks like that. “Okay,” Roy said in a no-problem tone.

    “The challenge fee is thirty dollars.”

    “That’s cheaper than the last two I did.”

    “It adds up. Hope you got lots of extra cash on hand.”

    Roy raised an eyebrow. Sure, Gym battles could often take a few attempts, but Roy didn’t intend to try so many times to put him in the poorhouse. No one became a Gym Leader without being a fierce battler, but of Kanto’s eight, Roy had never heard of Surge being one of the more difficult ones.

    After paying, the receptionist looked Roy’s body up and down, then snickered with amusement. “For this test, you will have to turn over your bag, Pokémon, and any other items.” The request tickled Roy’s curiosity about what he’d have to do, but the answer would come soon, so he handed his gear over without question or complaint. “Not to worry; you’ll either come back for it, or your belongings will be returned when you reach the other side.”

    “Other side?”

    The receptionist smiled brighter as he opened a closet door. “But for now, we give you this bag in place of yours.” The backpack he brought out was over twice the size of Roy’s. He instructed Roy to turn around, and, when he put it on for him, Roy nearly collapsed and had to look back to make sure the man hadn’t dropped an anvil on his shoulders.

    “Mother of Mew, what’s in this? Cinderblocks?” Roy groaned as he struggled to straighten his body. But the receptionist didn’t stop there. Next, he put a helmet on Roy’s head, which held all the weight and comfort of a cast iron pot. Roy was going to wake up with the worst neck sore of his life. The oversized helmet slid over his eyes. Roy tilted and fussed with it, though nothing he did got the damn thing to sit firm on his head. Only the buckle strap kept it awkwardly attached. “What’s all this shit for?”

    The receptionist remained quiet as he walked toward a door left of the desk, above which a golden plaque read: Surge’s Playground. He opened the door, and dark green streamers hung from the top frame like jungle vines. The receptionist continued to smile at Roy in patient silence, giving no further instructions as he waited for him to enter.

    Very well.

    Roy brushed the flaps aside and entered a spacious hallway with a high ceiling. The walls and floor appeared constructed of steel, and the bright lighting made their polished surfaces shine. Several surveillance cameras angled down at Roy.

    Machinery whirred above as a flat screen lowered from the ceiling. It flickered to life and showed the Gym Leader, known to most as Lt. Surge. Short spiky blond hair, and the build of a man who lifted weights for fun. Dressed in a tight green tank top and camo pants, he leaned back in a cushioned swivel chair, his big black boots kicked up on a table. A dog tag necklace hung from his neck, and though he sat indoors, he wore dark shades along with a shiteater grin.

    Roy got the impression Surge watched from a distance, but the cameras pointed at Roy and the way Surge looked down from the screen suggested he could see Roy as though he stood beside him.

    Surge held a microphone. Roy hadn’t noticed any speakers in the hall until a rough, hardened voice boomed like a bullhorn from all around, so sharp and sudden, Roy almost fell over. “Welcome to your first day of shitting blood! Hup two, skinny!”

    “Hup two?”

    “Are you a parrot!? Get going, you sorry little Twinkie! Move, move, move!” The barking voice startled Roy into action like a hot firepoker in his ass. He sprang into an instinctive run down the hall, holding his helmet still and hitching the pack up on his shoulders, nearly tripping under its weight. “And remember… don’t fall.” Surge snickered.

    Roy ran without a clue what in distortion he was supposed to be doing, but the hall provided only one direction. He’d never been a good runner, and with the added pack and helmet, he broke into a panting sweat in under a minute.

    Though he’d long run past the initial screen, plenty more lined the walls up ahead, ensuring Surge’s face and voice remained ever present, watching from above as the surveillance cameras tracked Roy’s every move. “Come on! Move those Bellsprout legs! Is that really as fast as you can run!?”

    Roy pressed forward until something came into view. A steel wall blocked his path.

    “Don’t slow down, twinkle toes!”

    The wall stretched from one side of the hall to the other. The only way past was over. Was that it? Surge wanted him to clear the wall? Roy estimated it to be two meters. Intimidating, but not unmanageable. Roy could do this. He took the deepest breath his dry throat could and powered on.

    Roy grabbed the top of the wall, pulling and jumping at the same time. Immediately, the weight of his pack dragged him down, and Roy fell, landing like an upside-down turtle.

    “Oooo!” Surge’s face sneered from a screen on the ceiling. A big red button sat on his desk. Surge raised an arm high, bringing it down to slap the button, which resulted in a grating sound that echoed off the metal walls at a deafening volume that vibrated the helmet on Roy’s head.

    BZZZZT!

    Roy reached under the helmet to cover his ears as he wobbled to his feet.

    “Tough luck, squirt! Try again tomorrow!”

    “What!?”

    “You deaf? Tomorrow!”

    “But–”

    BZZZZT!

    “I–”

    BZZZZT!

    “You–”

    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

    “Gah!” Roy whirled around and stormed back the way he came.

    Out front, the receptionist took one look at Roy’s scowl and smiled. “Didn’t clear the wall, huh?” He said it as though he’d expected it as much as the rising sun. Roy humphed and dropped the overweighted pack and helmet to the floor before snatching up his own bag.

    Roy returned to the Pokémon Center in a mood like he’d swallowed a spoiled lemon. This was stupid. Why did falling down mean he failed? Why couldn’t he have just tried climbing over again? Why did he have to wait until tomorrow!? Fuck!

 

DIALDAY, MESPINE 23rd

 

Roy hurried down to the Gym as soon as it opened.

    “Look who’s here bright and early,” the receptionist said with that familiar smirk.

    “Just give me the distorted pack and helmet,” Roy said as he flung his own bag over the counter.

    “That’ll be thirty dollars.”

    “I have to pay again!?”

    “You think this is a charity? Thirty dollars per challenge.”

    Roy muttered a curse as he swiped his card, then entered the steel hallway once again and received a greeting much too loud for this early. “Morning, sunshine!” Surge yelled off the walls. “Hope today you at least skipped the weenies for breakfast. Come on, get your flabby ass in gear!”

    Roy ran down the straight path until he approached the wall. Okay. Roy was more prepared this time. He knew not to underestimate the wall’s height or the weight of his gear. And he’d fail if he didn’t get over on the first try, so there’d be no messing around.

    He leapt at the wall, pulling… pulling…

    The pack was too heavy, and his hands couldn’t get a grip on the smooth steel that may as well have been as high as a castle wall. His fingers slipped, and he fell.

    BZZZZT!

    “Fuck!” Refusing to give up so easily, Roy jumped at the wall again, and Surge slapped the buzzer thrice in response.

    BZZT BZZT BZZT!

    The sound ruined Roy’s focus, and he fell again.

    “What do you think you’re doing!? There’s no redoes around here; this ain’t hop scotch with Mommy. We have these things called rules! Perhaps you’ve heard of them!? Now dance your little hairless ass out of my Gym before I fall into a sugar plum fairy coma!”

    “You gotta be shitting me!”

    “Aboooout… face!”

    Roy kicked the wall, then turned and walked out of the Gym. He heard the smirk in Surge’s voice calling out to him.

    “See you tomorrow!”

 

KYDAY, MESPINE 24th

 

Roy failed the wall.

    BZZZZT!

 

GROUDAY, MESPINE 25th

 

Roy jumped so hard, his head smacked against the wall, which knocked him down before he could even try to pull himself up.

    BZZZZT!

 

RAYDAY, MESPINE 26th

 

Roy grabbed the wall and jumped. He pulled.

    And pulled…

    Almost there…

    He about had an elbow on top, when his arms gave out and Roy dropped.

    BZZZZT!

    Why was this so fucking difficult!?

    “Gym’s closed next two days, sucker! Hope you don’t think the weekend’s a time for potato chipping it on the couch unless you’re preparing a comedy skit for Palday!”

 

LUNDAY, MESPINE 27th

 

Fuck! It was bad enough eating thirty bucks per attempt, but even more agonizing having to repeatedly wait a whole day, only to fail after twenty seconds and hear that stupid buzzer.

    Why couldn’t he just keep trying until he got it!?

    Roy spent all of Lunday doing squats and pushups with his backpack on. It didn’t match the weight of the one the Gym forced him to lug around, but hopefully this would strengthen him enough to get over that distorted wall.

 

SOLDAY, MESPINE 28th

 

Roy rested on Solday. He was no exercise expert by any stretch of the word, but knew rest was important for muscle growth. He was too sore to do more squats anyway.

Instead, he worked with his Pokémon. It would be no use getting over that wall just to fail the following battle. Roy trained mostly with Sandshrew. Surge specialized in Electric-type Pokémon, so a Ground-type like Sandshrew would be Roy’s MVP.

 

PALDAY, MESPINE 29th

 

After robbing the guy behind him in the cafeteria line of any chance at sausage or bacon, Roy stuffed himself with an energy packed breakfast, then marched out of the Pokémon Center and off to the Gym. The soreness in his legs remained, but he refused to accept that excuse. He could do this.

    “Holy shit, did I wake up in Kalos!? Who let the Flabébé in? Oh, wait! It’s just you! Well, bonjour, little cabbage. So are you actually gonna try this time, or can I get back to my nap?”

    Roy ignored Surge’s grating voice and sprinted off with his focus on the wall. He could do this. He would do this. Roy grabbed the top, and leapt with everything he had, pulling with all his might. The weighted pack tried to drag him down, but Roy pulled harder, grinding his teeth, sweat dripping to blind his eyes. Come on. Don’t give up. Go, go, go!

    “By all means, take your sweet time. Not like I got better things to do. Come on, little Flabébé, no flower’s gonna float you over that wall. Pull! Pull like there’s pussy on the other side! Bet you could get over it then, couldn't you!?”

    Shut up.

    Roy got his elbow on top and pushed. His head peered over next. He swung his leg up. Almost there. His arms felt ready to fall off. With a last tremendous effort, Roy hauled himself over the wall and landed on the other side.

    Yes! He did it!

    But Roy had barely leaned on his knees to catch his breath before Surge barked at him again. “Did you drop your balls on the floor!? Eyes up, Flabébé. Move it!”

What!?

    Roy raised his heavy head and tilted the lopsided helmet up to stare at a pool in front of him. Just like the wall, it stretched from one side of the hall to the other, blocking his way except for two rows of stepping stones rising from the water, creating a path across.

    There was more!?

    “Did Dialga stop time, or are you waiting for New Years? Get your ass in gear!”

    Roy growled, but moved forward.

    It didn’t look half as bad as the wall. Quite easy, in fact. But Roy had already made that mistake in underestimating the wall, so he kept his focus as he took zigzagging steps across the stepping stones over the water. He almost slipped once, but caught himself and continued.

    “Faster!” Surge bellowed.

    Roy leapt off the final stone and landed on the other side of the pool, clearing it on his first try. But he wasn’t done yet. A hundred meters ahead, a third obstacle barred his path.

    Another wall sat before him, but at half the height of the previous. Only a meter tall. Compared to the last one, he could almost step over it.

    Roy hurried forth and hopped over the wall, landing in a crouch, helmet tilting again to blind him. As he rushed forward, starting to straighten up, something whacked him hard in the head. Clang! Roy lurched back to the ground, helmet ringing, but not loud enough to drown out the sound that followed.

    BZZZZT!

    Roy’s eyes blurred into focus and found a horizontal metal bar that had been hiding on the other side of the shorter wall.

    “Oh well! See you tomorrow, Flabébé!” Surge laughed.

    Roy snarled as he pushed to his feet, glaring daggers at Surge on the screen above, growling at the sight of that motherfucker reclining in his comfy chair, legs kicked up, clear amusement on his face as he sipped at a glass of iced lemonade.

    “Aw, he purrs like a baby Lillipup. How cute. Gooood. Let that hatred drive you!”

    Roy stormed out, face burning. He’d learned one thing: this was more than just the wall. It was obvious now he’d have to pass an entire obstacle course. But how many obstacles would there be in total?

 

DIALDAY, MESPINE 30th

 

With great struggle (but a bit more ease), Roy cleared the first wall again, then proceeded along the stepping stones across the pool to where the second wall waited.

    Remember the bar this time, he told himself. He’d have to duck under it the instant he cleared the hurdle.

    Attention so focused on the third obstacle ahead, his eyes went blind to the present. He slipped halfway through the stepping stones and splashed into the shallow pool.

    BZZZZT!

    “You must love the sound of that buzzer! If I wanted a swimming show, I’d have taken a vacation to Cerulean! At least those Sensational Sisters are cute!”

    Soaking wet, Roy climbed out of the water, lips pressed, pressure building in his face like a kettle ready to scream.

 

KYDAY, AZENE 1st

 

All right! New month, new opportunity!

    Roy cleared the first wall and the stepping stones. He bounded over the shorter wall and was prepared for the bar this time, ducking under it. But a second wall lay behind it. He leapt over that one as well, coming face to face with another bar. Expecting as much, he ducked that too. Then met a third wall. Fuck, how many of these were there!?

    Every leap and duck he made shook his loose helmet further askew. Through hindered vision, he jumped the third wall, but messed up his coordination in ducking the third bar, thinking he’d crouched lower than he had. It whacked him in the head, and Roy went down.

    BZZZZT!

    The rest of that day, Roy kept his eyes glued to his phone in the Pokémon Center, doing what he should’ve done days ago:

    Research.

    Turned out, Surge used the standard obstacle course employed in the military, known as the SOC, which consisted of twelve total obstacles. Motherfucker, even if he cleared the series of walls and bars (that was officially named the rubble) he’d still have nine more challenges after that!

    And the sixth one…

    Son-of-a-bitch!

    But this was good. Knowledge would allow Roy to prepare. He stayed up late studying, memorizing the course, looking up tips and tricks, and watching videos of boot camp recruits attempting the same feats.

    How could he have been so stupid? Roy should’ve looked into this after that first failure. He’d let frustration and attention to strength and exercise turn him into a meatheaded dumbass, blind to common sense. This was why he hated jocks.

 

GROUDAY, AZENE 2nd

 

Roy came prepared this time. After his research, he’d learned the SOC used a standard of three walls and bars for the rubble section of the course.

    On his next attempt at the rubble, Roy cleared the first wall and bar with a hop and a duck. Then, once again, hop and duck. Repeating the action once more, he leapt over the third wall, then ducked to clear the last bar of the rubble.

    Yes!

    Caught up in elation, helmet lopsided in front of his eyes, Roy rushed forward without paying attention and tripped over the fourth wall. As he teetered over it, his head smacked into the fourth bar on the other side, and Roy crumpled to the floor with all the grace of a rag doll.

    BZZZZT!

    “Every time, I swear! Am I the only one that finds three such a boring, clichéd number?”

    Roy threw his helmet at the ground, then kicked it across the hall, all while enduring Surge’s raucous laughter echoing off the walls.

 

RAYDAY, AZENE 3rd

 

Roy cleared the wall, the stepping stones, and finally all four walls and bars of the rubble. Thankfully, no fifth surprise waited beyond that, confirming he had in fact completed the course’s third obstacle this time.

    He proceeded onward, and the hallway narrowed around him. It shrank smaller and smaller, closing in until up ahead it seemed to stop except for a small hole in the wall.

    Roy’s next obstacle: the tunnel.

    “Well, bless Arceus,” Surge said. “Skinny might have an advantage for once!”

    Surge was right. This should be an easy one. Roy just needed to army crawl through the tunnel. He dropped to his stomach and entered the hole. Despite his slim build, the cramped, unlit passage of pitch darkness created a suffocating sense of claustrophobia. Roy’s heart skipped a beat when he got stuck for a moment due to the sheer size of the monstrous pack weighing on him, but Roy wedged himself free and crawled on, bony elbows banging against the painful metal floor.

    None of the tunnels he’d seen online were that long, but Roy swore he crawled the length of a football field before light shone ahead and he emerged out the other side.

    “On your feet, Flabébé! Let’s go!”

    If this was an accurate replica of the military SOC, then the dodging panels should be next. The hallway appeared to come to a dead end, then Roy spotted the sliver of a gap to the far right. He entered through it and found himself in a narrow passage, angled left.

    Too narrow to walk through, Roy kept his body sideways and slid along the alley until he reached another gap leading forward. He stepped around the wall, then once again side shuffled down another confined corridor, this time, headed right.

    Roy zigzagged back and forth through several tight passages until he came out the other end into the normal hallway.

    Another easy one down. But next should be…

    “Don’t get comfortable, string bean! Let’s see how your skinny ass performs up ahead.”

    A massive steel door blocked the path forward. The kind Roy would expect in a high security vault. But he spotted at once the big green button that would unlock the door. It sat atop a bar five meters overhead. And the only way up was a single rope hanging from where the button lay.

    The SOC called this obstacle the low rope.

    Low, my ass, Roy thought.

    He’d known this was coming, but seeing it only accentuated his fears. Fuck. In high school, he’d never been able to do a single pull-up. But if he wanted the right to challenge Surge, he needed to press that switch.

    Roy jumped at the rope.

    But failed to even grab hold of it, and his ass hit the mat.

    BZZZZT!

 

LUNDAY, AZENE 4th

 

Rather than stay at the Pokémon Center, Roy pitched his tent on the city outskirts along Route 6, where he planned to spend the day doing push-ups and pull-ups on tree branches. Or rather, trying to do a pull-up.

 

SOLDAY, AZENE 5th

 

Sore from working out, Roy went downtown to do various odd jobs for people to earn back the money he’d lost challenging the Gym day after day. Though he tried to find chores that would give him more exercise.

 

PALDAY, AZENE 6th

 

Roy made it to the rope, and instead of being a dumbass and jumping at it, he planted his feet on the ground and grabbed a tight hold before kicking off and pulling himself up.

    Harder…

    Harder…

    Come on…

    But he could barely lift himself a few centimeters.

    “Are you telling me that’s all you’re capable of, Flabébé!?”

    Roy’s hands slipped, burning on the rope as he slid to the ground.

    BZZZZT!

    “I’ve seen better climbing from a Snorlax!”

    “Aaaah!” Roy screamed in pain as he stared at the red lines searing his palms.

 

DIALDAY, AZENE 7th

 

Before hitting the Gym, Roy stopped by a hardware store to buy a pair of climbing gloves.

    Only for the receptionist to confiscate them, insisting all outside gear was forbidden. Roy threw the forty-two-dollar gloves at his face.

    Roy pulled with all his might when he reached the rope, but the weight of his pack brought him and his thin arms down once again.

    BZZZZT!

 

KYDAY, AZENE 8th

 

Roy fell from the rope.

    BZZZZT!

 

GROUDAY, AZENE 9th

 

BZZZZT!

 

RAYDAY, AZENE 10th

 

BZZZZT!

 

LUNDAY, AZENE 11th

 

Another weekend of exercising and training with his Pokémon.

 

SOLDAY, AZENE 12th

 

Roy worked around town again to earn more cash. As well as money matched a few Trainers he crossed.

 

PALDAY, AZENE 13th

 

Roy climbed, pulling himself partway up the rope before he burned his hands once more sliding all the way down.

    BZZZZT!

 

DIALDAY, AZENE 14th

 

Roy’s ass hit the mat.

    BZZZZT!

    Surge laughed.

 

KYDAY, AZENE 15th

 

Taking a bad step, Roy failed to get over the beginning wall.

    BZZZZT!

    “Fuck!”

    “Giving up on the first obstacle!? Are you a Trainer or a Slaking!?”

 

GROUDAY, AZENE 16th

 

Roy was getting higher. He made it over halfway up the rope before his strength failed.

    BZZZZT!

 

RAYDAY, AZENE 17th

 

Almost at the top of the rope. Roy pulled, but his body simply wouldn’t move higher.

    “Pull, you lazy son-of-a-bitch! Did Daddy pass on an ounce of testosterone, or was he as big a pussy as you!?” The comment sent a deluge of rage through Roy that broke his concentration, and he plummeted to the mat.

    BZZZZT!

    Roy jolted to his feet, opening his mouth to yell back before reminding himself it was standard drill sergeant talk and not to take it personally. Roy bit his tongue and turned to walk out.

    “That’s it, run home to Mommy! I’m sure she’s got a nice bowl of ice cream and a night of watching My Little Ponyta waiting for you!”

 

LUNDAY, AZENE 18th

 

Roy spent almost the whole day doing nothing but push-ups and pull-ups.

 

SOLDAY, AZENE 19th

 

He slept most of the day, though not well. Roy kept waking up from hearing that stupid buzzer in his dreams.

 

PALDAY, AZENE 20th

 

Roy climbed the rope. He was almost at the top. Just a bit further. But when he took one hand off to reach for the button, he lost his grip.

    BZZZZT!

 

DIALDAY, AZENE 21st

 

Sweat beating down his face, arms screaming, helmet blinding him, pack straps digging burns into his shoulders, Roy hauled himself up the rope until the bar came within reach. He kept his legs and right hand tight on the rope as he reached with his left. Roy stretched as far as he could, feeling like he was about to pull every muscle in his arm and torso.

    Right arm pulling as hard as it could, Roy slapped his left hand on the button. It flashed a bright green, and the giant steel door blocking the hall groaned and clanged as it swung aside, revealing the path forward.

   Roy dropped to the ground, and thank Arceus, he stuck the landing without falling over.

    “Sweet mother of Mew, I was thinking I’d be an old man by the time that door opened! Up and at ‘em, Flabébé! You got six obstacles to go!”

    Huffing and puffing, Roy ran at a dizzy sway, shirt drenched with sweat. Beyond the steel door, the hallway sloped up, then dipped. This was the ditch. Thank fuck. After the low rope, this had to be the easiest obstacle on the course. All he had to do was jump off a one-meter ledge and land on an incline.

    Roy leapt.

    And seriously underestimated how sore and tired his legs were. His noodle limbs gave out under the physical weight of his pack and helmet and the mental weight of his fatigue. Roy crippled to his knees.

    BZZZZT!

    Exhausted as he was, Roy always had enough breath to cuss his heart out. It sounded like Surge had some sort of snarky comment, but Roy didn’t hear it over his own lengthy tangent of unleashing every swear word under the sun, making up a few, and using ones of vulgarities even Roy thought himself above.

    By the time he ran out of air, all he heard was Surge’s laughing from the surrounding speakers. Roy threw his helmet at the ground, kicked it, then flipped Surge the bird before storming out.

 

KYDAY, AZENE 22nd

 

After passing the rope yesterday, Roy failed it today.

    BZZZZT!

    “You telling me you can’t reach the top of that rope after I saw you yesterday!? You must think I’m stupid, huh!? If you want that Thunder Badge, Flabébé, then I suggest you unfuck yourself!”

 

GROUDAY, AZENE 23rd

 

Well Surge could suck a dick, because Roy passed the rope today.

    And he stuck the landing off the ditch.

    “Would you look at that! Flabébé made the high chair jump! Drinks and hoes all around!”

    Up ahead, the hallway narrowed until it was just big enough to squeeze through. It remained a straight shot except for a series of window sized screens jutting out at chest height.

    The corridor.

    This one Roy knew was easy. Just duck under the panels, which he did, facing only the minor difficulty of an awkward squat run through the passage.

    The path widened once more as Roy rushed toward the ninth challenge. Next was the balancing bridge. Identical to any regular gymnast beam, with the only difference of it being six meters high.

    And rounded.

    Shit.

    Roy started to climb, but exhaustion left him so dizzy, he only made it halfway up the ramp of the thin beam before losing his balance. Most obstacle courses used mats to cushion the fall. But because Surge was an ass hole…

    Splash!

    Even submerged underwater, the buzzer of failure pierced the surface to reach his ears.

    BZZZZT!

 

RAYDAY, AZENE 24th

 

Roy made it to the balancing bridge again, making it up the ramp this time. But he only got halfway across before falling over.

    Splash!

    BZZZZT!

    “If you’re done splashing around the kiddie pool, perhaps you’d like to actually complete this course!”

 

LUNDAY, AZENE 25th

 

Motherfucker, he was so close to the end! Roy didn’t want to waste a weekend waiting for his next attempt! But if he had to wait two days, he was going to use them. In addition to his regular exercises, Roy found a thin log and practiced walking up and down it.

 

SOLDAY, AZENE 26th

 

By the weekend’s conclusion, Roy could run up and down the log with his eyes closed.

 

PALDAY, AZENE 27th

 

Roy crossed the balancing bridge with ease.

    Next came the window. Simple. Just a wall with a square shaped hole in it. Roy jumped through and proceeded to the eleventh obstacle: the apex ladder.

    Several rows of logs–each spaced a quarter meter apart–formed a pyramidal ladder. Roy couldn’t tell if it looked easy or hard, but he was about to find out. He started to climb. The log steps created awkward footing, and the weight of his pack made it even more difficult to maintain balance. But Roy kept his focus. He ascended to the top of the pyramid, and fuck, was it this high the whole time?

    He took the first step down and slipped, going bump, bump, bump on his ass all the way down and finally rolling along the ground at the bottom.

    BZZZZT!

    Roy stood, yanked the heavy pack off his raw shoulders, and flung it across the room. He knew he’d always been a sailor mouth, but he must’ve sworn more in the last month than in his entire life thus far.

 

DIALDAY, AZENE 28th

 

Roy all but kicked down the door as he thrust himself into the Gym, which only got him the usual smirk from the receptionist. “What a surprise.”

    “Can it!”

    “I must admit, most don’t show this level of tenacity.”

    “You just tell Surge to be ready. Because I’m going to kick his ass as soon as I get to him. And I don’t mean in battle.”

    The receptionist chuckled as he took Roy’s bag and replaced it with the weighted military pack and helmet. He then opened the door, turned to Roy, and for the first time, said, “Good luck.”

    Roy rushed through the hanging flaps and into the hall.

    “Flabébé’s still coming in!? Mother of Mew, you’re either a Shounen protagonist or a masochistic dingbat! And I don’t see a lot of spiky hair under that helmet, so I guess that gives us the answer, doesn’t it!?”

    Roy ignored Surge as he ran toward the wall and, with a single leap, swung his body over it with ease.

    He then zigzagged over the stepping stones, crossing the water with nimble footwork.

    Next, the rubble. Roy leapt and ducked, leapt and ducked, leapt and ducked, then leapt and ducked one last time, undulating through the walls and bars like a snake through grass.

    At the tunnel, Roy dove onto his stomach and crawled through the cramped darkness. He emerged out the other end and rose to his feet, proceeding to the dodging panels, where he shuffled left and right, winding back and forth through the maze until he made it out and came face to face with the low rope.

    He grabbed the rough thickness and climbed. Roy’s heart raced, muscles screaming, but he pulled himself up and slapped the button on top. With a green flash, the door opened, and Roy rushed through, leaping off the ditch that followed and proceeding to the corridor, where he ducked under every panel.

    Next, the balancing bridge. Up the ramp, Roy ran across the rounded beam without slipping. He could’ve done it blindfolded. Hopping back down, he hustled ahead to the window.

    Roy vaulted through the hole in the wall.

    His ankle caught the bottom of the sill, and he lurched forward. He was going to fall!

    No!

    Roy tucked inward as his head hit the floor, following through with a somersault, rolling across the ground and coming up on his feet. He paused only a moment to look up at the screen showing Surge’s face. The lieutenant’s hand hovered over the buzzer. He hesitated in thought, then chuckled and retracted his hand.

    Roy sprinted up the apex ladder. He crested the peak and watched his step as he made his way back down. Stay focused. Don’t screw up.

    He slipped on one of the last rungs, but caught his foot on the step below and wheeled his arms in circles. Panic swarmed in around him, but Roy regained his balance, then took the final steps off the apex ladder.

    Only one obstacle left! The terrace.

    Roy ran up a ramp.

    “You ain’t done yet, Flabébé! Let’s move! I’ve seen thicker legs in a basket of fried chicken!”

    Roy scaled the ramp, reaching the top of the terrace. This was it. Same as the earlier ditch, but two of them, each twice the size. He leapt off the first jump, landing two meters below. One more! He bounded down the giant stair, and his feet hit the ground flat.

    Yes!

    As Roy ran ahead, he caught a glimpse of Surge’s expression on the hallway’s final screen. A thin smile stretched the man’s lips, and his next mumbled words sounded more to himself than to Roy. “Heh heh. What a trooper.”

    Finally at the other side of the Gym, all that remained was a flight of ordinary stairs. Channeling energy from his elation at success, Roy ascended them with the blazing glory of a world championship torch bearer. He pushed through the doors at the top and emerged from the hall victorious. Roy slid the pack off his bleeding shoulders and dropped it to the floor with the most satisfying thud to ever grace his ears. The helmet went next, clattering to the ground as Roy wiped sweat from his matted hair before going down himself. He stared up at the ceiling, gasping for air, bruised and sore as fuck.

    Dialday, Azene 28th. Over a month later. He’d made it.

    What a relief when the next thing he heard was not a harsh, deafening buzz, but a slow drawn out clapping. “Heh heh. Well done, kid.” Roy rolled onto his stomach and craned his throbbing neck to look up as Lt. Surge strolled into the room, clapping with an ear to ear grin, almost like a proud parent. “So many pussy out after the first few days, but not you, soldier.”

    Roy struggled to get words out between starving gulps of air. “The fuck… was the point… of all that?”

    Legs shoulder width apart in an assertive stance, one arm folded behind his back, Surge tilted his sunglasses to peer over them. “Pokémon Trainers. You see them everywhere. TV, movies, magazines, posters, toys, and products. Glamorized heroes.” He said it with an air of mild disgust. “Eeeevery kid dreams of being a cool, badass Trainer when they grow up. Yet you don’t see much of the same attitude of people wanting to become soldiers and go to war. Never made sense to me. As a man who’s done both, allow me to let you in on a little secret. The two ain’t that different.

    “Even the simplest Trainer journey is going to demand the utmost fortitude, physical and mental. That course is my way of weeding out the wannabe pretenders expecting a romanticized adventure of rainbows, sunshine, and friendship. Not every Pokémon you encounter or even catch will wanna be your friend. There are those that will as soon gouge your guts out for a late-night snack. Who will read the deepest recesses of your mind, exploit your darkest fears, and toy with your sanity. And if you can’t handle the elements of mother nature, you’re just as dead. Believe it or not, the Pokémon Trainer career has its own mortality rate, and you had better respect that fact.

    “I never met a successful Trainer who couldn’t overcome the basics of boot camp. You’ll endure much worse if you haven’t already. Or think of it this way: any Trainer without the backbone to pass the Playground won’t survive a day on the streets of modern Saffron. I hope you don’t plan on entering the Indigo Plateau with seven badges.

    “Life is cruel, unfair, and will always stack the cards against you. That hardship will make you strong or you were never worthy to command the respect of the creatures we call Pokémon.”

    Surge’s grin returned. “But also… watching you kids struggle is my soap opera.

    “But I hope you’re not planning on lying there forever. You still have one last obstacle to overcome.” Surge unclipped an Ultra Ball from his belt, tossing it up and down in his hand. The receptionist entered the room and dropped Roy’s gear on the floor beside him. “Let’s hope you pass this battle test. I’d hate for you to have to go through the Playground again.” He said it with an evil sneer, as if he’d love nothing more than that.

    Fists clenched, Roy pushed himself up, standing to face the Gym Leader of Vermilion City.

    The Lightning Lieutenant, Matis Surge.

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To be continued...

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